Car Wash
by Hibana
Summary: Life is never dull when your car is a talking robot named Bumblebee. A series of Sam and Bumblebee friendship ficlets. Enjoy!
1. Car Wash I

Car Wash

A Transformers Fanfiction

By Hibana

Set in the Movieverse, between the first and second films. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other snippet of dialogue from movies or the radio.

* * *

Sam whistled as he walked out to his garage one Saturday morning, the keys in his hands (not that he needed them, with Bee being able to drive himself and all, but it felt cool to have them). He pulled up the garage door.

"Morning Bee! Whoa!" he stopped short, looking at his car and Autobot friend.

Bumblebee was absolutely filthy, covered in streaks and splashes of mud. Apparently that joy ride last night in the dark, going over 100 miles an hour down empty dirt roads, hadn't been such a good thing for Bee.

"Dude, you need to be washed," he told the car, setting his keys down on a shelf.

"Wash?" said Bee, picking up that word from some unidentified source.

"Yeah, you know, like a bath. I wash all the dirt off of you, get you all shiny. I mean, I can't let you go out like this. I got a reputation to maintain." Sam started rummaging through the garage for the cleaning stuff. "Go on, get in the driveway, I'll be there in a sec."

Bumblebee rolled forward, curious to know what the human was going to do. Sam emerged a few minutes later with a bucket, towels, and some bottles of liquid. Then he grabbed the hose and turned it on, spraying Bee all other. Bee made some indignant clicks. "Sorry, man, you gotta get wet first."

Then Sam put soap on the sponge and approached Bee. "All right, here we go! Operation Clean Autobot." He started scrubbing at the car with the sponge.

But Bee had other ideas. His back tires started to squeal as he whirled away from Sam. "Whoa whoa! Bee! What're you doing!" He chased after the car, which did wheelies in the driveway as Sam, starting to laugh despite himself, chased after him.

It quickly became a game, with Sam having to leap on top of the car's hood just to get him with the sponge or dive for the side.

Finally Sam sat down in the driveway, exhausted. "Whew. That was more exercise than I needed." He leaned his head back. "Whew!"

Bee edged forward, bumping him gently with his bumper. "Oh, what, you sorry now for making me run? Well, I got something to say to you about that." He grabbed the hose behind him and sprayed the car in the grill.

Bumblebee wheeled back, shocked, and Sam got to his feet, grinning. He advanced on his defenseless prey which was backing up towards the garage, where he would then be trapped with nowhere to go. Sam, laughing, shouted, "Not so tough now, are you?"

Which, in retrospect, was never a good idea to say to one's sentient robot car. Bumblebee declared all out war as Sam approached the passenger side door, spraying the soap off. However, Bee suddenly opened it so that the water bounced off the car and splashed all over Sam. "Hey!" Sam backed up and away, but Bee got him in the side with the water spraying out from the windshield wiper jets.

Then the two of them were racing round and round in the driveway, Sam taking cover behind bushes, Bumblebee getting clever and rolling on top of the hose so that Sam's ammunition ran out, and then Sam running for it as Bumblebee chased him. Before long Sam was soaking wet and Bumblebee was clean.

A few neighbors walking by with strollers stopped and stared. Sam, water and soap dripping off of him, looked over at them, and then pointed at the car. "My, uh, friend's in there. He's a real comedian."

The ladies looked at each other, shook their heads, and went on.

"That was too close, Bee, too close! You gotta be more careful."

"Me? What about you?" Came a female voice, borrowed from a movie that Sam had seen before but couldn't quite remember.

"Hey, I'm just a boy washing his car. You're the alien robot in disguise," he told the yellow Camaro, wringing the water out of his shirt and then getting out the wax and the rag.

"Okay, check this out, Bee. There's a method to this. Wax on, wax off. You polish like this—I got it from this movie I saw when I was a kid."

"Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off." Came Mr. Miyagi's voice.

"Hey, you know about The Karate Kid? That was Mister Miyagi!"

"Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off," Bee repeated the voice over and over like a chant.

"I get it, I get it! Jeez, I wished I hadn't said anything."

"You missed a spot," came a different man's voice, probably pilfered from some movie or TV show.

"Hey!" Sam exclaimed. "I did not."

"Yes you did."

"Did not—hey, why I am arguing about this? And you shouldn't be giving me any lip, I don't have to be doing this.

"I got a reputation to maintain," came Sam's own voice out of the radio.

Sam dropped the rag. "Okay, that's not cool, not cool at all, Bee."

"Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off."

"All right, all right! Just to get you to stop."

Bee sent a message later on that day to the other Autobots who were working at the NEST base. It read, "Sam washed, waxed, and polished me!"

Ironhide, who had had to deal with Bumblebee as a youngling and remembered those horrible times trying to get the young Bee to sit still to do that very service, did the Transformer equivalent of rolling his eyes.

* * *

The bit about Ironhide and Bumblebee's relationship (and about baby Bumblebee and bathtime) is from Karategal's wonderful stories! Check it out!


	2. Date Night

Date Night

A Transformers Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any of the songs used in this fanfiction.

* * *

Sam didn't know how his life could get better.

He was sitting with his arm around his incredibly hot girlfriend in his incredible car-that-was-more-than-just-a-car. It was a beautiful night and they were parked on the cliff next to the tree where Bee had taken them the first time. The remains of a couple of hamburgers were in the fast-food bag in the back seat, and it was just the two of them. Just him and his girlfriend. Just the two of them. He carefully shifted his arm, and was rewarded when Mikaela leaned against him. Score!

Well, there was just one thing that could make this night even better, he thought as he looked at Mikaela. He swallowed with nervousness as he decided to try and go for a kiss. He was glad there was no one else around.

But they were not alone, he realized as the radio turned on and Elton John's voice crooned into the night.

"_Can you feel the love tonight,"_ the radio sang.

"Bee! Totally not cool, man. Totally not cool!" he said, straightening up.

The radio went quiet, though Sam would have sworn he could feel Bee laughing.

"Sorry about that, I mean, you know, he's like that," he muttered, trying to play it down. Mikaela just smiled and rolled her eyes, leaning her head back against him.

Sam slowly relaxed again. "So, uh, nice night, eh?"

"Yeah…it is," she said, smiling.

In the quiet moments the radio suddenly turned on again. "_A moment like this…some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this…_" Kelly Clarkson's voice rang out.

"Bee! Ah, come on, man! Knock it off!" Sam said, hitting the steering wheel for extra measure. This time he heard Bumblebee's warbles and clicks, the tell-tale signs of the Autobot's laughter.

"Jeez, you're cramping my style, man," Sam muttered.

"What style?" Mikaela teased.

"Not you too," he said, but she laughed, snuggling up next to him across the seat. He could barely believe it, so he started to stammer after a moment.

"You know, this is a pretty nice moment, I mean, uh, night, uh, time with you, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Sam said, trying to salvage his rambling. "Just you and me…under the stars and the moon…"

"Mmmhmm?" she said, now looking at him with that smile on her face. She was very close, close enough to kiss, and Sam started to stammer again.

"You know, it's, uh, kind of romantic. Like a scene out of the movies or something," he said.

"What scene?"

"You know, the one where, uh, the, uh, guy kisses the girl and all."

She smirked. "Do you wanna kiss me Sam?"

"No, I mean, uh, yes, but I mean, uh, well, if you want me to," he said, knowing he was totally botching this. But she smiled.

Suddenly the radio turned on again. "_my oh my looks like the boy's too shy ain't gonna kiss the girl --- wo-ah woah-- -- you know you wanna kiss the girl"_

It was a man's voice with a Caribbean flair to it—he recognized it in the back of his indignant mind as that crab from that Disney movie, the one with the girl with fins or something, though Bee was splicing the song together. Mikaela started to laugh.

"Bee!!!"

"_Yes… you want her. Look at her you know you do"_ continued the song, a sure sign that Bee felt he was on a roll.

Mikaela just laughed. "What, Sam, you going to let the alien robot car speak for you?" she teased.

"Uh—uh, no, no!" he stammered. Bumblebee lowered the volume but continued with the song, and would have kept going but Sam smacked the radio a few times.

"Well? Show me," she said, and leaned forward so they could kiss.

After she pulled back several moments later, Sam could just sit there.

"Whoa."

Once again the radio turned on. "_Yooow! I feel good. ~duna duna duna dun~ I knew that I would._"

Sam jerked his thumb at the car's dash. "What he said."

Mikaela laughed and kissed him again, to the sound of "_So good! So good! I got you!_"

There were times when Bumblebee was impossible…and then there were times when Sam loved his car.

* * *

A.N.-- Wow, I can't believe the response I got to this story! I think I sent all those who reviewed a little note back (except for Pizzaboy--thanks!) but to everyone who favorited or added as an alert (ananova, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, italiachick13, KyuukiTheAnimeFreak, Technophobia678, Tenshi of Light21, Silverwing5566) thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this and the rest!

Till next time~Hibana


	3. Car Wash II

Car Wash II

A Transformers Fanfiction

by Hibana

* * *

The next time Bee was dirty Sam decided to save himself the trouble. "Okay, Bee, here it is. This is a car wash, all right? Take a look at it." He stopped so that Bee could see. "Cars go in dirty, come out clean, see? They got these jets and scrubbers and stuff in there that spray water on you and soap and all. I'm telling you this so that you don't freak out or anything, all right! It'd be really bad if you took out the car wash. Not to mention I'd have to pay for it. You ok with it?" Bee seemed to agree, so Sam cautiously pulled up and waited for his turn to go through.

However, when Bee saw the inside of the building, he balked, squealing backwards and almost hitting another car. What was this strange building? He looked over the mechanical pieces with a suspicious eye. It was awfully strange. There were odd jets on the sides of the wall, and the swaying strips of plastic did not look safe. In fact, the more he looked, the more he became convinced that it was too suspicious… It was probably a Decipticon, waiting to ambush him and Sam! Those strange jets and machinery could turn deadly quickly, if it was indeed a Decepticon in disquise.

Okay, maybe he was over-reacting. But even if this 'car wash' was not a Decepticon… how was this supposed to get him clean?

No, he was _not_ going in there.

"Come on, Bee, come on, it's just a car wash, man," said Sam, talking to his car as Bumblebee calculated. The car wash attendant came over.

"What's wrong, dude?"

"I, you, well, I just don't think my car's up to this. You know, I'm, uh, afraid it's gonna scratch up his paint job," he said, realizing this had probably been a really stupid idea to begin with.

"There is a no-scratch guarantee," the attendant said, rolling his eyes at stupid teenagers who didn't read signs.

"Yeah, you know, I think I'm gonna pass," said Sam, taking one look at the flashing red light coming from the dashboard, obviously Bumblebee's way of saying, don't make me go in there.

"Man, you're in line, you gotta go through," he said, giving Sam no choice. He rolled up the window.

"You heard the man, Bee, we're stuck. Just don't freak out on me, man, just don't freak out. Just roll in slowly and get on the track."

Bee did so, jerkingly, stopping grudgingly and then almost bolting when he felt his left wheels get caught in some type of locking mechanism, which then began to roll him forward. All systems came online, ready for any signs of a Decepticon attack. He might have just rammed through everything but his path was blocked by some of the scrubbers, and he remembered Sam telling him not to destroy this place.

Sam looked down at the dashboard, the red light still flashing. He hoped that Bee wouldn't spaz on him. Then the wash started, and Sam could feel Bee freaking out anyway, though he'd told him not to. The car jerked forward and then stopped, forward and stop, as the jets of water and the scrubbers and the soap surrounded the car, the conveyor belt squealing in protest at the movements.

"Just calm down, Bee, calm down! It'll all be over in a minute!"

It was finished just soon enough, and Bee pushed forward, dragging the conveyor belt with him. But then the jets of hot air hit him and Bee stopped with a jolt.

"Okay, okay, it's okay," said Sam, looking around. The flashing red lights had turned off, so maybe Bee was okay now…

Bee rolled out of the building when it was over and stopped. His fears had been unwarranted. The car wash was not a Decepticon ambush. Actually, it had been…

"Well, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?" asked Sam rhetorically. "Thank goodness you didn't destroy anything—wa-wait, wait, where you going Bee!" Sam cried as he started moving on his own, circling the building and getting back in line.

The attendant walked over, giving Sam a look. Sam rolled down the window and shrugged. "Just want to make sure he's clean," he told the man as Bee eagerly rolled back into the car wash—and forgot to roll up the window, so Sam got soaked before he could get it up.

For weeks afterword all Sam would hear every time he got into the car was the same blasted song.

"_Car wash! Working at the car wash, yeah!_"

He would groan, because inevitably Bee would make his way towards any available car-wash that he saw on their route and Sam would have to fork over some of his swiftly dwindling cash to send Bee through it. He found himself wishing he hadn't introduced Bee to that particular Earth invention after all.

* * *

A.N. Wow! I'm totally amazed! This story has reached 1000 hits already, and I only put it up 5 days ago! This makes this story my most popular one ever. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or alerted! It's awesome to open my email and see all the love!  
To celebrate, I bought myself a new toy. It's the Bumblebee action figure, the one that can go between autobot and car form! Squee! I told myself that it was for inspiration and help with writing this story. :)

Till next time! ~Hibana


	4. Muscles

Muscles

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

by Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media reference used in this fic.

A.N. This one is just a big longer. I couldn't help myself. Hope everyone likes it! :)

* * *

It had all started in a rather simple conversation that Sam had with Mikaela. They were sitting in Bumblebee at a drive-in movie theatre, waiting for the movie to start. During one of the previews for another movie, which showed a young up and coming actor that many girls considered rather cute, Sam decided to try and impress Mikaela.

"Look at that guy. Sheesh. I've got way more muscles than him."

She turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. "You? What muscles?"

"These guns here! Look at 'em," he flexed. "Like Popeye the sailor without the spinach." When she looked as if she didn't believe him, he tried, "These are the arms that carried the All-Spark while being chased by Megatron over half a city. These are champion muscles."

"Uh huh," she said. "You mean this baby-fat?" She pinched his arm.

"Ow! Hey, watch it. That's very sensitive baby-fat."

She just shook her head and turned back to the movie.

So Sam decided to do something about it.

Next morning he gathered up water bottles, some towels, a few of his mother's dinky little weights (which he found not so dinky after carrying them for a while) and loaded it all up in the passenger seat. Then he drove Bee out to a really deserted patch of land outside of town where he could put his plan into motion.

"What—are we doing—here?" Bumblebee patched together the question.

"Is there anybody around? Any cameras, spying people?" Sam asked instead, unloading everything.

"Negative, captain," Bee said, borrowing Data's voice from Star Trek.

"Okay, then go ahead and transform Bee. You're gonna help me beef up."

Bumblebee was not entirely sure what 'beef-up' meant—did it have something to do with cows?—but he complied and sat down on the ground in front of the pacing Sam.

Sam paced for another moment. "All right, so you remember how Mikaela was making fun of me last night for my muscles?" Bumblebee made an affirmative sounding noise. "Well, we're going to do something about it. I say we, because you're gonna help me, 'cause I don't have enough money for a gym subscription or to get workout equipment cause I gotta keep taking you through the car wash, so I'm gonna use you instead. Here's what we're trying to do." He pulled out a wad of paper out of his pocket, unfolded it, and showed Bee the picture of the body builder he had found on the internet. "See this? This is what we're going for. This down here—this is a six pack. I need one of these," he pointed, "and some of these guns. They gotta be as big as Ironhide's," he pointed at the biceps of the bodybuilder. "See the goal? Got the goal in your mind? All right, let's make it happen."

So began, to Bumblebee, some of the most interesting human behavior he'd ever observed.

First Sam did some jogging in place, then some strange jumping and flailing of his arms simultaneously, and then psyched himself up. Then he began to stretch, reaching for his toes and then stretching out his arms. He sat down and stretched again, and then, feeling pretty good, tried to do the splits but failed rather miserably. He did the best he could, and then, having inspiration, told Bee to give him a finger. Bee, looking confused for an Autobot, cocked his head to the side, searched the internet, and then raised his middle finger, thinking that was what Sam wanted. "No, no, Bee! Bring your finger over here to me!" Bumblebee lowered his hand so that Sam could grab on to the first finger, and then said, "Okay, Bee, pull your finger slowly towards you so I can stretch. Very slowly, okay, man? Easy… easy…" The Autobot did as he was told, observing as Sam stretched more and more forward. He was so busy trying to figure out what Sam was doing that he forgot what he was doing. "Stop, stop! Too far! Too far!" The last came out as a squeak, and Bumblebee hurriedly moved his hand back towards Sam—but a little too fast, so that Sam was smacked in the face with his own arms and knocked over.

Once Sam had recovered, he moved on to the next exercise, picking one with that did _not_ require Bumblebee's assistance. He did push-ups till he couldn't move while Bee kept count. He pulled out the picture of the body-builder to encourage himself (though it didn't help that much, because it made him realize how much further he had to go) and got up.

"Okay, Bee? How many was that? Not bad, right?"

"Five," was the Autobot's response, but Sam figured you had to start somewhere.

For the next exercise Sam grabbed Bumblebee's finger and brought it down to about Sam's head level, instructing Bee to hold it there and keep it steady. Then Sam grabbed it with two hands and slowly, obviously painfully, began to lift himself up until he could put his chin over it. "One!" he gasped.

Again Bumblebee kept count for him. Sam couldn't even do four. Oh well, chin-ups weren't his thing anyway.

Next was sit-ups. "Okay, Bee, I need to hold my feet down, like this, okay? I'm gonna do this," he showed him the exercise, "and you're gonna hold my feet down so they don't go flying around. But don't squish 'em, okay! I need my feet. Feet are very important to humans."

Bee very carefully and lightly placed one finger on Sam' feet, warbling to see if it was okay. "That's good, Bee, that's great. All right, here we go. One!"

He made it to eight, which he figured was pretty good for himself. "One for each of the six pack and two extra," he said to himself.

Next was weight-lifting. He messed around with his mother's 5 pounders, and then decided he needed to do more if he wanted to impress Mikaela. "Next thing, Bee! You're gonna be my weight bench!" Bumblebee was instantly confused. "Look it up on the internet, man. Weight benches? With dumbbells?" Bumblebee paused for a moment, and then nodded and made clicking noises when he found it.

"Okay, here we go. I'm gonna lay down here," he found a nice bunch of grass, "and you can lower your hand to right here—yeah, that's perfect, Bee—and I'm gonna lift it up."

He tried, grunting and pushing with all he could, but he couldn't raise up the Autobot's hand.

"Okay, let's try it with one of your fingers, man, I'm tired after all the other stuff." Bumblebee tilted his head but complied, holding out his finger horizontal to Sam. But Sam again couldn't move it.

"You know, you're going to have to work with me a bit. You know, let me move it up and down." Bumblebee nodded and warbled, so Sam tried again. And still couldn't.

"W-would you help me? Yeah, that's it," he said, as suddenly he was moving the Autobot's finger up and down. "Oh yeah, I'm feeling the burn!"

Bumblebee tilted his head even further, for he was raising his finger up and down for Sam, and chalked it up to strange, inexplicable human behavior.

To wrap up the day Sam went on a run around the field. Bumblebee transformed back into the car to follow him and urge him on. Getting into the swing of things, Bee began to play the theme from Rocky. The music wafted out across the field.

"Bee! Not—Helping!" Sam panted.

After he'd gone round the field once, Sam figured he was not a long distance runner at all. He was panting and gasping for breath. "I don't get it, Bee," he said, jogging alongside the car and grabbing the towel hanging on the window sill, rubbing his face, throwing it back in, and then grabbing a drink of water from the water bottle in the seat. "I mean, I made it across half of Mission City with Megatron on my tail and I can't even do this! Well, come to think of it, maybe the fact that Megatron was chasing me had something to do with it. Maybe I just need an incentive."

Bumblebee, hearing this, suddenly revved up his engines, advancing on Sam.

"Wa-wait, Bee, what are you doing?"

The engines revved up even louder.

"Oh man," said Sam, and then ran for it.

"BEE!!!" he shouted as the Camaro's tires squealed and then Bee took off after Sam, chasing him round and round the field until Sam couldn't run anymore and fell over. Bee transformed, looking down at Sam, who had rolled over and was laying face-up by now, and when the boy didn't move, poked at him carefully.

"Water. Water!" Sam gasped out.

Bee straightened quickly, nodded enthusiastically, and then went to where the supplies were. The first water bottle he tried to pick up was squished between his fingers, getting water all over his hand. Making a surprised sound, he was more careful with the second, and brought it to Sam, setting it down gently next to the boy.

Sam grabbed it without a word and guzzled it all down.

"Bee," Sam said after a while, sitting up. "Don't ever get a girlfriend. They're way too much work."

Bumblebee, seeing all that Sam was undergoing to try and impress Mikaela, had to agree. Especially when Sam's efforts for the day produced no noticeable results, to Sam's dismay.

* * *

Sam is such an easy target. He's so easy to make slight fun of. Of course, Sam, it takes WAY more than just 8 sit ups to get a six pack. (Shakes head). I've been a martial artist for 2 years, and my muscles are just now starting to get toned.

Hope all the exercises made sense! It was too much fun imagining Sam using Bee to work out. :)

Thanks again for all the love! We're rapidly approaching 2000 hits! Wooohoo! and we're over 20 reviews! You guys make me so happy!

(Oh, and yes, of course, kb, the car wash is really a decepticon in disguise, just waiting his time. Think about the next time you go through it :)

Next time...Car Wash III! ~Hibana


	5. Car Wash III

Car Wash III

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media represented in this ficlet.

* * *

Sam tried very hard not to grin as he approached his target, but it was so very hard not to. He would have rubbed his hands together in anticipation, but he had to keep them on the wheel as he was pretending to drive Bumblebee. But he could see the colors from here... hot pink, fuchsia, yellow, baby blue, orange, and bright green. The bright colors were like the flame, and he was the moth drawn to them. Granted, he had an incredible girlfriend...but that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate them, did it?

He explained what they were doing to his friend. "All right, Bee, we're trying something different this time," Sam told him as they pulled into the parking lot where bikini-clad girls waved signs and held hoses and buckets of soapy water. Sam was grinning already, nodding to the girls. His street-cred had gone up exponentially since Bumblebee came, and he was going to make use of it for once.

"_Car wash_" came the now-exhaustively familiar song, with an upward, hopeful warble at the end.

"These girls are going to wash you, Bee. It's like this fundraiser thing. They're cheerleaders—super hot cheerleaders in bikinis from another high school. I give them five bucks, and they swarm all over you and me. It doesn't get any better than this, Bee."

He pulled up to a spot in the parking lot. "Hey, ladies. You mind washing the dirt off?"

"Nice ride," said the cheerleaders, walking over and giggling, leaning up against Bumblebee.

"Got a donation? We're going to Nationals."

"Of course, of course," Sam said, getting out of the car and rolling the windows back up. He gave the girls the bill and they smiled at him before going over and getting some more girls from the squad to help.

"This is it, Bee," he said, giving his car a friendly slap to the door.

He leaned against a traffic pole and watched as the girls swarmed all over the yellow Camaro, just as he had predicted. He hoped Bee was enjoying this as much as he was. Of course, Bumblebee didn't have a clue why this car wash was preferable to the others, and he wondered why Sam was grinning so much. But, he thought to himself, a car wash is a car wash. He just hoped the girls would wax his sides too.

Sam whipped out his camera phone and took a picture of the cheerleaders. More pictures followed, and when the cheerleaders saw him taking pictures they gave him a little grief about it, then demanded that he take a real picture with them on his sweet ride. Sam managed to work his way into one, getting someone else to take the picture. He would later hold the picture up as an example of how far he'd come in the world.

But the picture ended up getting on the internet, and when the other Autobots saw Bumblebee, sitting in his alternate mode with girls all over him… they never really let it go away. Neither did Mikaela, who didn't quite believe Sam's excuse that it had all been for Bumblebee.

* * *

Hello everyone! I just want to say thank you! Remember when I said we were approaching 2000 hits? Well...we blew past it faster than Starscream in jet mode. We hit 3300 last time I checked. That's amazing! Thank you all so much for the hits and the reviews and the rest of the love. Sorry that this one was a bit short, but Muscles was rather long in comparison. The next will be normal length.

Speaking of which... next time: Ironhide. See you in a few days!


	6. Ironhide

Ironhide

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

by Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used here.

A.N. The credit for Ironhide's relationship to Bumblebee and Bumblebee's childhood goes to Karategal, whom you should really check out if you haven't yet.

* * *

Sam and Bumblebee, often with Mikaela, liked to visit the other Autobots whenever the chance presented itself (when Sam and Mikaela were not too busy with school, or when the Autobots were not too busy saving lives or kicking Decepticon aft). On this particular occasion it was just Bee and Sam who came to visit the others at Diego Garcia.

Bumblebee had been promptly snatched away by Ratchet following the greetings. Bumblebee had apparently been avoiding his maintenance, and Ratchet was none too pleased. Bumblebee gave Sam a pleading look but Sam laughed and help up his hands—what could he do against the Hatchet?

This left Sam and Ironhide together, and after a moment of awkward silence, Sam tried to begin conversation.

"So…things going well here?" he asked. "The Decepticons not giving you too much trouble?"

"The Decepticons always cause trouble," growled Ironhide, then amended his tone. "But yes, it is going well."

"I see," said Sam, and after a moment began to twirl his thumbs, not being able to think of another topic of conversation with the intimidating Autobot.

"How…is Bumblebee?" asked Ironhide after a moment, almost hesitantly, with a tone to his voice that Sam had never heard before.

"Bee? Oh, he's great. His voice processor still isn't working right, but he's managing." Sam said, and Ironhide nodded.

"Is he…happy?"

"Oh, well, yeah, I think so, though you'd have to ask him. I mean, I know he misses you guys, but he and Mikaela and I have a lot of fun." Sam paused. "And I know he loves car washes."

"Car…washes?" said Ironhide, a very different tone in his voice.

"Yeah, you know, Earth invention, can be done by machines or by humans, with special soap and stuff to make the car all shiny. It's, well, I guess it's like a bath for Autobots, now that I think about it."

"A bath?" Ironhide's voice was carefully quiet.

"Yeah, Bee loves 'em. Can't get enough of 'em. Everytime we see a carwash building he's gotta go in. He was a little weirded out at first, but now he loves the things. Plays this stupid song about car washes all the time," Sam laughed, happy to have found a safe topic of conversation with Ironhide.

"Bumblebee likes this car-wash… bath."

"Yeah!"

"Bumblebee."

Sam had at last noticed the tone to Ironhide's voice. "…yeah…?"

"That aft-blasted, slag-ridden, fragging piece of--- Bumblebee! When I get my hands on you!!!"

Sam jumped back from Ironhide's explosion. Bumblebee heard from all the way across the other side of the hangar, and he poked his head up upon hearing his name. When he saw that it was Ironhide, and an angry Ironhide at that, his optics widened and he ducked behind Ratchet--- it was a natural instinct, even if he didn't know what he had done.

"After all you put me through, after all the times I had to practically chain you down to give you a bath, you let this…Earthling…do it!"

Ironhide stomped over to Bumblebee, still hiding behind Ratchet, while Sam just stared. A low chuckle behind him made him turn—Optimus Prime was standing behind him and shaking his head.

"Er…what's going on?" asked Sam.

"Bumblebee was a very active sparkling, or what you would call child," he said, using the Earth term. "He held strong feelings about baths. Ironhide was his guardian or caregiver."

"Oh, I get it," said Sam, looking over at the other Autobots—Bumblebee was attempting to keep Ratchet between him and Ironhide, Ratchet was chuckling and trying to dissolve the situation, and Ironhide was trying to get a hold of Bumblebee. "Er…is he, uh, going to hurt Bumblebee?"

Another chuckle. "No."

Ironhide finally got a hold of Bumblebee, and to Sam's amazement, began to tickle Bumblebee. Bee squirmed and tried to get out of Ironhide's grasp, squeaking and clicking. "You think it's funny? You think it's funny, huh? Putting me through all of your fits when you were a sparkling, and then giving the human no trouble at all when he gives you a bath! Huh?" Though his voice sounded gruff, the continued tickling of Bumblebee and the light-heartedness of the assault was evident. Sam began to smile.

Ironhide picked up the much smaller Bumblebee and walked him over to what was unmistakably a cleaning area for the Autobots.

"I'm gonna give you a bath, and you're not gonna give me any fuss— and you're gonna like it!"

* * *

Credit for the idea for this fic goes to Rena1, who inspired it with her review. Thanks! And see what a beautiful process reviewing is? You give me a review, a review sparks an idea, I write idea and put it out there, and you get credit! It's so simple, really. :) This is the first story that has been sparked by a review, and there's another waiting in the wings too, so please review if you can!

I'm pretty good about responding to reviews. Speaking of which, thanks to Geekgirl, Demonwolf, gotfaith, Halfmoonglasses, Timberwolf, KB [aka Keebee :)] and whomever reviewed as Anonymous, all of which I have not been able to respond to. I'm glad you all are enjoying it!

I'm not really sure which story I'm going to use next, so you'll all have to wait and be surprised. :) Later!~Hibana


	7. Directions

Directions

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanficition

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any media referenced in this fanfiction.

* * *

"It's this way, Bee, I'm telling you." The wheel tried to turn the opposite direction. "No, Bee! I'm the one with the map, okay! It's this way!"

He struggled with Bee for a moment, then Sam managed to turn right, the direction he wanted to take, but after a moment he was checking the map again. "Er…"

Bumblebee made some indignant noises. "Look, I don't care if you have google maps or whatever, I've got a map too and I'm telling you we're fine."

"_Save me, I'm lost…_" came the radio.

"I am not lost, Bee! I just don't know where I am," he said, frantically checking the map again, trusting Bee to make sure they didn't hit anything.

"…_she went in a new direction…"_

When Sam ignored him, Bee picked another song."…_I could use some direction…"_

"No, Bee! We are not stopping for directions."

Bee made an inquisitive warble. "Because we're men, Bee, and men don't ask for directions. Women ask for directions, but men know where we are all the time. And I know where we are!" He paused. "We're not at that autoshop."

That autoshop was where he was supposed to be picking up some parts for Mikaela. He had graciously volunteered to make the trip with Bee to pick them up a hundred miles outside of town, and it would not look good if he failed to return with them.

Bee seemed to sigh to himself, and then the radio came on again. "Turn left in .2 miles," said the radio in an obnoxious, know-it-all woman's voice—the kind you hear in GPS systems.

"Whoa, Bee, where'd you get that voice? Did you hack a GPS?"

"Turn left in .1 miles," came the voice again, bossier than before.

"All right, all right! But could you pick another voice? That one sounds like my aunt, and man, you do not want it to be my aunt."

"Continue straight for 1.5 miles," came the voice, really deep. It sounded as if Bee had simply modulated the voice so that it was deeper in the sound. Sam laughed.

"Whoa! That one sounds intimidating, like he's going to beat you up if you don't."

Bee thought about it for a moment. "Turn left in .5 miles." This time the voice was obnoxiously high-pitched, as if Bee had taken the woman's voice all the way to its highest point on the treble. It sounded like an elf on helium. Sam really laughed.

"That one's even scarier!"

Bee laughed too, in his way. Then he had an idea and his processors whirled. A moment later the directions came again.

"Turn left- -- or else I'll blow you a new aft-hole!"

Sam busted out laughing, for the directions were in Ironhide's voice, though the bit on the end must have been from Bumblebee's own memories.

"Continue straight for 3.7 miles," came the next directions in Ratchet's voice, and Sam continued to chuckle. He wondered how Bee was doing this but figured it'd be no sweat to the advanced Autobot.

"Turn left—boy!" It was Megatron's voice, and Sam about jumped out of his seat. Bee had to make the turn himself, laughing the entire time.

"Jeez! You almost gave me a heart-attack! That was Megatron!" Sam began to laugh after the shock was over.

"Turn right in .7 miles—Ladiesman217!" It was Barricade this time, and Sam laughed and laughed, clutching at his stomach.

But Bee had saved the best for last.

"We have arrived at our destination." It was Optimus Prime's voice, and Sam howled with laughter, tears in his eyes. "Autobots, roll-out."

The mechanic at the autoshop, having been told that someone was coming to pick up the parts, looked up at the driver of the Camaro who was in a fit of laughter, and wondered about them city folk.

* * *

"_Save me, I'm lost_" is from "Show me what I'm looking for" by Carolina Liars.

"I could use some direction" is from "Way Back Into Love. "

"She went in a new direction" is from Kelly Clarkson, "Miss Independent."

And I TOTALLY want a GPS that tells me directions in Transformers' voices. Please, Hasbro? Pretty please?

And on another note...holy cow! We hit 85 reviews and 6100 hits! You guys are amazing! Thank you so much!

Not sure which one is next...so see you next time!~Hibana


	8. Optimus

Optimus

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

by Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.

* * *

It was a very pleasant day on the planet Earth. The weather-conditions were rather favorable with a mild temperature and clear blue atmosphere. Optimus thought it was a fine day, and a fine opportunity to check in on the youngest member of the Autobots and the human Sam. Granted, he checked in regularly with Bumblebee, but a visit in person would definitely be in order, and he so rarely had a chance to have free time. His duties as leader kept him busy. Yes, it would be very good to visit Bumblebee and Sam.

Given the weather, it computed easily to him that his scanners showed Bumblebee to be outside, enjoying the day rather than at the Witwicky residence. This was preferred rather than having to make a stop at the Witwicky home. While the backyard, garden, and fountain had been replaced, Optimus couldn't quit forget the damage that his team had inadvertently done during their first visit. Neither, it seemed, could Judy Witwicky. So he gladly made his way to their location, a place very far outside of the human town. He topped a rise and finally gained sight of Bumblebee and Sam, the sight of which brought him to a stop.

His processors, which had computed so easily Bumblebee's location, struggled to identify the scene before him.

Bumblebee, in his alternate mode, was chasing Sam around and around a field. The human was running as if for his life away from the yellow Autobot, who was spiritedly chasing him. Sam would look back and see how close that Bumblebee was, and put on an extra burst of speed, shouting something that Optimus couldn't hear over the wind. Bumblebee matched Sam's speed, keeping in close pursuit, and it looked as if Bumblebee might overtake Sam…

Optimus's processors did not compute, and only offered that perhaps Bee had been left alone with the human too long and snapped from some sort of strain… or perhaps he was malfunctioning.

In any case, he, Optimus Prime, was responsible for Bumblebee, and must put this behavior to a stop at once, before the human lost his life.

"Bumblebee!" He roared, transforming, making his way towards him, preparing to stop him if he must. "What are you doing?"

Sam and Bumblebee stopped upon hearing the noise, and Bee fishtailed around so that he was facing Optimus. He transformed too, looking very happy to see Optimus—which made him feel a bit of remorse at having not visited Bumblebee for so long—and then he looked very confused at the Prime's expression. It seemed that the two had not been able to hear his words, only the sound of them.

"H-hey! Optimus!" Sam waved, standing next to Bumblebee, as if the Autobot had not been chasing him, though he was very winded. "Good to see you!"

Optimus slowed, his processors even more confused. He looked between the two as if a closer look would reveal the reason for this strange behavior.

"It is good to see you both, though I am afraid I do not understand," he began slowly. "Bumblebee, why were you chasing Sam?"

The two looked surprised at the question.

"Oh, that?" said Sam. "He was helping me."

Optimus searched the Internet to find a reference that might indicate why Sam felt that Bee chasing him was of some help, and failed to find anything of the sort.

"Help…" he began slowly.

Bumblebee nodded enthusiastically, and Sam had grabbed a towel from somewhere nearby and was drying off his face. "Whew! I made some good time today, huh, Bee?"

The yellow Autobot nodded again, and played sounds of applause.

Optimus posed the question again. "I still do not understand…" he began. "Why is it help if Bumblebee chases you, Sam?"

"Oh!" Sam said. "Well, he's helping me get in shape. You know, exercise."

Optimus latched onto that word, for it was finally starting to make a little sense. "Exercise…"

"Yeah, I've been working out and Bee's been helping me a lot. One way he can is by chasing me around the field. I run a lot faster that way. We got the idea from Megatron, actually, 'cause I'd never run so hard in my life except when he was chasing me and trying to kill me and all."

"I see." It finally made sense. Sam, in an attempt to keep in good form, was exercising and Bee was helping him by encouraging him to run faster. It was logical, if a little strange, and he chuckled at the misunderstanding. "It is good that you keep in shape, Sam, and that Bumblebee helps you. One never knows when one might need to be at one's best."

He stayed and talked with the two for quite some time before returning to the others. However, when he told them of his experience, he had to explain all over again exactly why Bee had been chasing Sam.

"Well, I think that Bumblebee finally got sick of the human and is merely using it as an excuse," said the weapons specialist. "I know I would. Or maybe, if the boy really wanted exercise, he should have come to me. I could use some target practice with a moving target."

"Ironhide…" Optimus murmured disapprovingly.

"Maybe I'll suggest it to Bumblebee. If he's really annoyed with the boy, he can do it himself. Surely he wouldn't say no to some target practice."

"Ironhide!"

"Of course, it'd be to help Sam with his training. Wouldn't actually hit him. Just wouldn't tell him so. That'd really get him running!"

"Ironhide…" This time there was a warning in Optimus's voice.

"Just saying."

"Perhaps Bumblebee is having some difficulties…perhaps I should visit and run a few scans," Ratchet mused. "After all, he was rather injured in the last battle."

Though these suggestions had been the same thoughts he himself had had at first sight, Optimus Prime could only cover his face with his hand and sigh at his fellow Autobots' reactions.

* * *

Chaosmaiden07 came up with the idea for Optimus to see Bee chasing Sam. And as you can tell, I ran with it :) Thanks again! Hope you enjoyed it :)

And bad Ironhide, bad! Humans are not to be used for target practice (even when you're not really going to hit them). Gah, Ironhide is waaaay too much fun to write.

Anyway, I want to give everyone a huge thank you! I never, ever imagined writing a story that would break 100 reviews! Which we did, rather splendidly! Yeaah! You guys are awesome! Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

Next time...Miles. Later!~Hibana


	9. Miles

Miles

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

A.N.-- I don't know how you guys feel about Miles, but I just had to do something with him. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

When the teacher began to drone on, that's when Miles tuned out. His mind taking him far away from the boring classroom, he looked for any sort of distraction that might make the day more bearable. Over to his right was his buddy Sam. Sam… He began to frown. Dude, the man had been acting might strange lately. First with leaving him at the party. Then frantically calling him shouting something about his Camaro. Then missing for a few days, and his house ransacked. Then he comes back, he's got a new car, and suddenly the goddess Mikaela hangs out with him. It was stranger than if aliens had landed on earth. Much stranger.

Thinking of the car, Miles reflected that most of the trouble had started when Sam got that old Camaro. The new one, though, was light-years ahead of the old. It was understandable, then, that Sam might be a little attached to his good fortune, his miracle muscle car that he'd said the government gave him after his old got destroyed in that incident in Mission City. A little attached, yes, that'd be cool.

But Sam was not just attached to his car. He was constantly hanging out _with_ his car. Often Mikaela would be with him, which was almost stranger (he guessed that maybe driving Mikaela home that night had actually done some good, even if it meant he had to walk home). But Sam with his car… dude. There was something weird going on.

For starters, the car had a name. Bumblebee. Miles could totally see it getting named that, thanks to the bright yellow paint job and the wicked racing stripes. He knew lots of other kids who had named their first cars. Names like Herbert, or Mortimer. Nope, it wasn't the fact that Sam's car had a name…it was the way he had said it.

"Oh yeah, his name is Bumblebee," Sam had told Miles one day. As if he the car had told him or something. And that was just the beginning, really. Sam was always doing weird stuff around his car. He constantly talked to it, with that weird radio glitch making it seem like it was talking back. And he constantly took it to car-washes, even if it wasn't that dirty.

Yep, it was official. Sam had gone bonkers over his car, though Miles didn't quite blame him, especially if he'd gotten a car like that.

His eyes drifted over to the window, and even from here he could spot the bright yellow paint. But his eyes widened as suddenly, inexplicably, the car began to roll out of its parking spot amongst the other cars and roll down the street. He stared in shock, too stunned to move. Someone was stealing Sam's car! It took him a minute before it sunk in, and then another before he thought maybe he should tell someone. But even as he opened his mouth to whisper to Sam, the car came back in view. It did a few laps around the parking lot, and then pulled back into its parking spot. And stayed there.

Miles couldn't believe what he'd just seen.

He kept an eye on it for the rest of the day, sitting next to windows so he could look and see if it had moved. Or if it was there. Cause sometimes, when he looked out, it wouldn't be in its parking spot. But if he looked again it would be there, making him think his eyes were going.

There was only one conclusion.

He wondered how, and even if he should, tell Sam that his car was possessed by the ghost-spirit of some race car driver who had driven a yellow camaro when he was killed in a fatal accident on the race track. Sam loved his car so much—how would he take the knowledge that it was possessed? Did Miles want to ruin the love between man and machine? But he had a duty to his friend.

So he decided to help his buddy out. After all, it wasn't his fault that he had a car like this. He made a few calls to a priest, a voodoo man, and a couple of magic shops around town and found out the proper way to banish a lingering spirit. So the next time he got into Sam's car—which took all the bravery he had—he lit a stick of incense and waved it around.

"Dude, Miles, what are you doing?" asked Sam.

"Be gone, spirit, be gone! Your time has passed!" Miles said, and performed the ritual, then blew out the incense. "There, man, I saved your life."

"Saved me…from what?" asked Sam, completely confused.

"Your car was possessed, man. I saw it, moving around the parking lot at school, all by itself. So I thought to myself, I gotta help out my friend, even if he leaves me at the lake to go chase after girls. Which turned out to be mighty successful, my friend, so congratulations. But anyway, I couldn't just let my friend drive around in a car possessed by the spirit of a former race-car driver."

Sam, however, had gone very quiet. "Possessed, huh?" He was quiet, and struggled to keep his face clear. Then he turned to Miles. "Thank you so much man. I mean, I knew there was a ghost, but I didn't know what to do and I was scared to try anything."

"Oh, man, you should have said something to me! I totally got your back."

"I know, I know, and I really appreciate it, man. You totally helped me out. I'm sure my car," he gave the wheel a meaningful look, "won't be driving around the parking lot without a driver anymore."

"It's all cool, man, it's all cool," said Miles, pleased with himself. When Sam dropped him off at the house, he waved goodbye to his friend, happy that he could help. He didn't hear the exclaimed words that burst out of Sam as soon as they had left Miles' house.

"BEE! What were you thinking!"

* * *

Once again, thanks to everyone who reviewed or fav'd or alerted! I'm glad everyone's enjoying my loosely connect fic-lets. :)

Next time... Sweet Revenge. Later!~Hibana


	10. Sweet Revenge

Sweet Revenge

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used in this story.

A.N. The twins make an appearance in this fic. Feel free to imagine the autobot twins of your choice (Mudflap and Skids/ Sunstreaker and Sideswipe). It was intentionally left vague so you can pick whichever you like. :)

* * *

Their moment had finally come. Together they had plotted and schemed, hashing out their plan in secret, and now, revenge would finally be theirs.

Sam and Bumblebee could hardly wait.

They had it coming, really, the other Autobots, specifically the twins. They would tease Bumblebee mercilessly about that car wash picture, hanging on to it like a dog with a bone, never failing to mention it when Bee was around. And Sam resented their teasing too—not just because they were giving Bee a hard time, but because every time they mentioned it…they would bring it to Mikaela's attention again. And Sam had been working very hard to make sure that she never thought of it again.

So they had come up with a way to get back at the Autobots. Some would call it a mere prank, but Sam and Bee knew better. It would be sweet revenge.

They couldn't do it without the other, either. Sam needed Bee to help him make the more technical aspects of the plan and with the heavy lifting, and Bee needed Sam to help him put it into motion. Their fate was bound together.

The two conspirators had taken their time, making sure that everything would be perfect. They'd bought the materials slowly, mainly because Sam was still on an allowance. They'd bought the water-soluble kind because, while they wanted revenge, they also valued their lives. Finally they made plans for an extended trip to Diego Garcia, where they would surely find an opportunity to strike. No one had questioned the two, Autobot and human, as they had casually walked around the warehouse that was the Autobots base. No one had noticed as Bumblebee deposited the large barrel he was carrying and helped Sam attach something to the pipes that supplied water to the Autobots cleaning area. No one noticed as they casually slipped away.

Now, hanging around the hanger, the two sat up. Their prey declared their intention to clean up, and were approaching the cleaning area unsuspecting. Sam exchanged a grin with Bee, pulling out the modified garage door opener that, when he pressed it, would send a signal to enact their plan. The unsuspecting twins picked up the heavy-duty hose, arguing good-naturedly with each other. Reached to turn on the water…

And Sam pressed the button.

The valve diverted like that of a train switching tracks, drawing not upon water but the contents of the barrel which drew upwards and began rushing towards the nozzle…

To spray paint all over the unsuspecting Autobots.

"What the!" began one of the Twins as he was splattered with bright yellow paint.

Sam quickly covered his mouth, to muffle his laughter, as did Bee.

The other laughed until the hose was turned on him and he was then sprayed with pink paint. Bee and Sam's snickers grew more difficult to hide. They were glad they had had the idea to add different colors to the barrel.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" the victims cried, reaching for the valve. But their hands were already covered in paint, which proved rather slippery, and they couldn't seem to grab it. Not to mention they had to deal with the hose, which continued to spray paint everywhere and often all over the other. The paint landed on the ground and began to form a shallow pool, the colors spreading out and swirling around one another like a rainbow had landed there and poured out all its colors at once.

Ratchet looked up, the noise drawing his attention away from his work, and when he saw the mess he immediately went to help as the victims continued to shout.

"Turn it off!"

"Get this thing turned off!"

Ratchet made his way quickly over to them, trying to avoid stepping in the paint. But his efforts to stay clean proved in vain, for the twins struggling caused him to be sprayed with a mixture of red and orange paint.

The other Autobots saw and approached warily, not wanting to get marked either, but as each would try and dash in to turn off the hose, he or she would inevitably get splattered. In trying to avoid getting sprayed or gain control of the hose, more chaos and paint ensued and they all failed to stop the flow of paint.

One extreme motion, trying to keep the paint from getting on them even more, happened to send paint splatters far and wide—to hit the unsuspecting Ironhide, who had been deliberately ignoring the ruckus.

"Gah! What is this!" he cried, looking at the bright green splatters on his right cannon, which he had been polishing to a shine. He looked up and saw the twins, coated in paint, and the other Autobots splattered with bright splotches.

"What are you all doing? Never mind, I'll stop it myself—" his words were lost, for as he as stomped over to the victims he slipped on the pool of paint and went sprawling, landing on his back and coating himself in the various colors. Ratchet helped him up, trying to steady his old friend even as Ironhide let out a slew of curses.

Sideswipe finally just threw the hose up into the air and dived for the valve, ignoring the cries of the others who got splattered even more, turning the switch off at last.

"What is going on here?"

Optimus Prime stood to one side, viewing the mess with a critical eye. There was a splash of bright yellow paint on his faceplate.

The Autobots turned to the only clean people in the hangar. Since the twins were covered in paint, it left these two as the only possible suspects.

Bumblebee had his fingers covering his eyes, and he slowly peeked out from behind them. Sam's mouth was dropped and his hand only half-covered it, so it looked as if the two perpetrators were two parts of the "hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil" trilogy.

As the paint-splattered Autobots approached them they desperately wished they were blind, deaf, and dumb to the trouble they were now in.

* * *

Bwa ha ha. It's Sam and Bumblebee's obligatory pull-a-prank-on-the-others scene!

And now they are in soooo much trouble... Guess they really didn't think out what would happen afterward. :)

We're over 10,000 hits! Thank you all so much!

Next time...Childhood. Later!~Hibana


	11. Childhood

Childhood

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

A.N. Second Daughter of Eve brought up something in her review. For all of the rest of you who thought it and didn't write it, yes, I had Sideswipe in there. But even with him in there, he can still be either one of the twins or he can be one of the other Autobots in the crowd (after all, he's apparently in ROTF). So there :P Honestly, though, I'm glad that people are reading my work so closely! It makes a writer happy. And oh yes, that distinction goes again for this story too :) This one is on the 'cute' end of the scale, so I hope everyone likes it.

* * *

"And I want every last speck of paint off of me, you hear me! Every molecule!"

Ironhide was not pleased with his new paint job. Neither were the rest of the Autobots.

Optimus had given the two a punishment fitting of the crime—washing all of the paint off of their victims. He had pulled rank so that he was the first to be cleaned (after all, it was very hard to look stern when one's face was splattered with paint). Then he proceeded to give the two a stern talking to, though it was hard to be stern with all of the paint-covered Autobots standing behind him and adding their two-cents worth.

The worst were to be washed first, meaning Ironhide and the twins. The twins were completely covered with paint of all colors. While Ironhide's backside had certainly never looked so colorful, he was not the worst out of them all. However, considering that he had the worst temper and was liable to start shooting at any moment, the sooner he was cleaned the better. Sam and Bee had had to restore the water to the cleaning area and hose it down first. Now the three Autobots stood, waiting to be washed.

"If you don't get every molecule of paint off of me, you'll regret it!" Ironhide continued, holding up his cannon arm threatening—which didn't exactly work, since it was the paint-splattered cannon.

"Yeah! What he said!" piped up one of the twins.

Though Sam knew he and Bee were in huge trouble, he wasn't going to take it lying down. He sprayed the twin in the face.

"Whoops, sorry! Gotta get that paint off your face!" he called to him while the Autobot struggled to block his face.

Bumblebee was busy cleaning their paint barrel so that it could be filled with soapy water. He laughed at Sam's actions, as did someone else in the crowd of Autobots, but Ironhide shot him a stern look, and he quickly went back to his work, ducking his head.

Lennox walked in, followed by Epps who was carrying a bucket. Lennox's eyes widened, as did Epps's, at the sight.

"What happened to my hangar!" he cried, staring at the paint-splatters still on the walls and on the Autobots.

"Oh man…I ain't never seen anything like this," said Epps. "Not even when my kids drew on the wall-paper. I guess this is what you needed the soap for, huh, big guy?" Epps asked of Optimus, who had requested it once he had seen the mess.

"It is Bumblebee and Sam who need the soap, Sergeant. Their punishment for their practical joke is to clean up the mess they created."

"This was a practical joke?" asked Lennox, while Epps eyed the two with newfound respect and wariness.

"Just another reason not to get on an Autobot's badside," murmured Epps to Lennox.

"Sergeant Epps, if you'll take the soap to Bumblebee and Sam? And don't worry, Major, _they'll_ clean up all of the mess, I can assure you." Optimus's words were firm, and both Bumblebee and Sam bowed their heads in resignation.

"Well, it looks like you got it under control," said Lennox, and he held his hand out to Epps. It only took the other man a moment to figure out what he wanted; he handed the digital camera he always carried to him before taking the soap to the culprits. Lennox took a few quick pictures—it never hurt to have insurance against the more mischievous Autobots, and this was prime black-mail material—before quickly making his escape, Epps too. They burst into laughter once they were clear of the hangar, and couldn't stop for the rest of the day.

Bumblebee quickly filled up the barrel with soapy water, and armed with some sponges he and Sam were ready to begin.

"Careful with my cannons! Careful!" Ironhide cried as he held out his arm for Sam to wash. Sam muttered something underneath his breath while Bumblebee began to wash Ironhide's back. Ironhide gave them warnings and instructions until they were finally finished and Ironhide gleamed in the light.

"Not bad…" he said, and stomped away as the twins pushed up to Bee and Sam for their turn.

"You know, that was a rather good prank," murmured Sideswipe as Ironhide passed.

"Don't encourage them," scolded Ironhide as he made his way over to Optimus.

"I cannot believe that Bumblebee and the human did that," said Ironhide to Optimus, the larger Autobot gazing at the two culprits from across the hangar. They were busy working on the two twins, who were dropping snide comments. The two pranksters gave as good as they got, however, and it almost turned into a soapy water war, but Optimus cleared his throat and they subsided.

"Hmm…is it really so hard to believe, Ironhide?" asked Optimus.

Ironhide grumbled. "That human is a bad influence, Prime. To think he could talk Bumblebee into this…"

"Ironhide, you make it sound like Bumblebee has never gotten himself into trouble before." There was no mistaking it: Optimus was definitely amused. That was also the tone of the other Autobots, now getting washed themselves. There was laughter and good-natured grumbling as they looked at each other and saw how good Bee and Sam had gotten them. Bee, responding to the mood, began to play the song "Car Wash" from his speakers.

Ironhide grumbled again. "Well, now he has help, encouraging him on, plotting with him."

"The twins, among others, encouraged Bumblebee when he was younger to get into mischief. But I agree that something is different. He has a partner now, a true friend, one who will support him…and get into trouble with him." His bemusement was clear as he watched Bee bob his head in time with the jaunty music and Sam sing along as they worked.

"Partner in crime," muttered Ironhide.

"Be fair," Optimus said. "Sam is still young, as is Bumblebee. Even though our races our different, they are much the same in age and experience. This is good for them both." Optimus paused, then went on. "The war was difficult for Bumblebee. So young, surrounded by the pressures and demands of war, often thrust into the middle of battlefield far sooner than either of us would have liked… You could say that Bumblebee had to grow up quickly. Being with Sam is like…having his childhood returned."

Ironhide looked at the two, and his optics softened. "Perhaps you are right, Prime…"

Their punishment finally done, the two had dozed off, Sam leaning against Bumblebee, both exhausted after the effort of cleaning all of the Autobots.

* * *

Everyone with me... 'awwww!' :)

And in case you were wondering, Epps apparently does have kids. In the Transformers book based on the screenplay, he has a very funny rant to Lennox about his daughters and their love of My Little Pony everything. In case you were wondering.

And thank you all!!! We're at 12500 hits and almost 200 reviews, which is simply amazing! There isn't much more I can say except thank you and I hope you all continue to like my writing!

Till next time!~ Hibana


	12. Curiosity

Curiosity

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used here.

We're moving away from the out-right comedy to more of 'cute' for a while. Just letting you know!

* * *

Bumblebee knew he really shouldn't be doing this. But as the Earth expression went, "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back". Not that he really understood what that one meant (why was it about cats?). But he knew it had something to do with curiosity getting one in trouble but being worth it. And he had been really curious.

The object of his curiosity was the strange music he heard loudly playing from the Witwicky family living room. Bumblebee was rather fond of Earth music—after all, it helped him communicate with his voice box _still_ un-repaired. He was unfamiliar with this particular song, and stranger still, there was a female voice speaking above the music. His curiosity piqued, he rolled forward out of the garage. He couldn't quite see from here into the living room, and he wanted a closer look. He pulled up to the edge of the grass but stopped short. Ron and Judy Witwicky had very strong feelings about their yard. Particularly Autobots and their yard. After the damage that the other Autobots had done when they first arrived, Bee could understand why. He had tried to keep the damage minimal… but he hadn't been able to stop his friends from ruining it. Though Optimus Prime had nobly offered to repair the damage, Judy Witwicky had not taken him up on the offer. Rather, she had expressed, "I never want to see any of these damn robots on my lawn again! And stay away from the flowers!"

These rules had been reiterated after Bumblebee and Sam had returned, and once the new lawn was in place, Bee had been again strictly forbidden to lay one body-part on it.

But that music…He could hear the words said over top of it by an unidentified female voice. "Uh huh. Uh huh. All right, there you go. That's it! Buh da dum da dum. Bind it. Feel it. Do it. Aww, good, yeah! You ready to do it? Here it is! Let's go!"

What was going on inside the house? He really wanted to know…

He decided to try and see anyway. But first he'd have to transform. The Witwickys would surely notice the tire tracks in the grass. Making a quick scan of the nearby area for any spying eyes, he quickly and quietly transformed and made his way with all of his stealth skills closer to the room, crawling if he had to so he'd stay undetected. He peeked his head up to peer into the living room.

What he saw he quickly defined as unexplainable human behavior. Sam sometimes did things he couldn't understand. Sometimes he would ask Sam or after some processing figure it out himself. As he got to know Sam better, he found that this classification was used less and less.

But this…these strange and bizarre movements that Judy Witwicky was making was unexplainable by any processors he held.

She was dressed in clothes that he identified with the internet as a pink leotard and yellow leggings with a sweat band around her forehead. The strange music and voice was coming from the TV, where similarly-dressed human females were performing similar motions. The one in the middle seemed to be leading, and Judy Witwicky was following along.

What exactly she was following along to perplexed Bumblebee. He could neither classify it as dancing (and very poor dancing it would be, by human standards) or exercise. It was some strange combination of the two in which the women moved side to side in synchronization, making similar arm movements. To use a word that Sam liked, it was "weird".

Bee cocked his head to the side, trying to understand what Judy Witwicky was doing and searching the internet for clues. At that moment she happened to look up and, because he had tilted his head, saw him in the mirror above the T.V.

She screamed, wheeling around and staring at Bee. And screamed some more.

Bumblebee, surprised by her action and the shrillness of the sound, nearly fell backwards, caught himself, and then almost hit his head on the overhang. Still she continued to scream, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Ron Witwicky rushed in from another room. Sam pounded down the stairs.

"Judy, what's wrong?" asked her husband.

"Th- th- that _robot_ was watching me!" she squealed.

"He's not a robot, Mom, he's an Autobot," Sam corrected as he walked over.

"Is that what all the fuss is about? Gah, Judy…" said Ron. "I was in the middle of a movie!"

"But Ron! He was _watching_ me!" she hissed.

"Mom, if you were doing your jazzercise again, he was probably wondering what in the world you were doing," said Sam. Bee, watching from outside the window, nodded, but only Sam could see him.

"Oh, Judy, are you still doing that? You look ridiculous, honey."

"Totally, Mom."

"It's no wonder the alien robot was curious. Why don't you just go to a gym like a regular person?"

She hit him in the arm. "Ron! If I want to work out in my own house, I damn-well will do it! And if I want to look ridiculous I damn-well will! Without certain robots, who should be in the garage, watching me!" She turned to direct her ire towards the hapless Bumblebee. But Sam stepped in between her and the window.

"Mom, he's a person, well, not a human being, but he's still a being! He's not like a dog you can keep in his box. You know, he's like part of the family."

While normally his mother might have agreed, all things considered, she was not in a very understanding mode, so Sam quickly changed beats.

"Look, Bee didn't mean to upset you. Right, Bee?"

Bee shook his head emphatically.

"And he won't watch you do your crazy jazzercise again."

Bee didn't need prodding to shake his head no, he wouldn't.

"So, Bee's apologized, no one's hurt, everything's okay?" said Sam, keeping his tone light, but he waved his hand frantically behind his back, a signal to Bee to go and go quickly. Bee did so.

"There better not be any marks on my lawn!" Judy Witwicky cried, but Bee could hear Sam continue to calm her down.

After several minutes Sam came out to the garage.

"Man, Bee, my Mom was pissed. You might want to stay clear of her for a while. I didn't see any marks on the lawn, though, so I think you're good." Bee warbled an affirmative. "So…" Sam paused. "What were you doing?"

He played a clip to reply. "Strange…. Music from above."

"Oh, so you were just curious. Well. I wouldn't spy on my mom anymore. Especially during her little eighties flashback jazzercise sessions."

"It's weird," Bee replied in Sam's own voice, and Sam laughed.

Bumblebee decided that the Earth idiom was correct. Curiosity did work out in the end.

But he would still have to ask Sam about the cat part.

* * *

A.N. I have to admit, I did not come up with most of the dialogue from the jazzercise. I stumbled upon this little gem on youtube. And believe it or not, the idea of Judy Witwicky doing jazzercise came before the youtube video…but the video totally helped :) It's "Jazzercise-Move your Boogie Body 1982" . The dialogue I borrowed comes on after 30 seconds or so...lol. I laugh every time I think about it.

Thanks once again to everyone who reviewed, fav'd, alerted, or in general made this story such a success! (and thanks geekgirl—I'll go pick up the book). Till next time!~ Hibana


	13. Blame

Blame

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used here.

A.N. Sorry about the long wait! I was trying to get another story finished first, but since this one shoved its way to the front, you guys get the last story about the pranks! Enjoy~

* * *

Whose fault was it? It was the question on all of their minds and processors.

Perhaps it was all Optimus Prime's fault. After all, if he had not been so bemused by Sam and Bumblebee's antics, he might not have forgotten to order the others not to pull a counter- prank. If you were going to go that far back, however, you could say that it was Bumblebee and Sam's fault for starting the prank-war. Though they would surely reply that it was the twins' fault for pushing them into pulling a prank on them.

In any case, blame was to be shared all around. Blame was a great feast at which all the Autobots could partake in. For the prank war which had begun was unlike anything the Earth had ever seen. Retaliation had been swift following Bee and Sam's prank. Within a week they had been pranked, and were plotting in earnest. The war had begun.

The twins certainly deserved a great deal of blame. After all, they countered Bee and Sam with a wicked little prank involving slime. As a prank-team, the duo was nearly unmatched. United against a common foe, their combined efforts produced prank after prank, all embarrassing and disgusting.

Bumblebee and Sam, the other accredited prank-team, could also be blamed again for their counter-counter prank, which had involved a great deal of toilet paper. In which the twins responded with embarrassing, manipulated photos. And Bee and Sam responded with a few home-made bumper stickers attached to the rear of each of the twins' alternate modes. Embarrassing, permanent ones. To which the twins countered with a smell they sprayed on Sam and Bee that made every dog for miles think they were one of the opposite sex in heat (including Mojo, which had been really awkward). And Bee and Sam counter-countered with some rather feminine perfumes stuck into the twins where they couldn't get them out, making them smell like flowers for months. At the next battle, the Decepticon they were facing had the nerve to laugh at them. He was quickly ripped to shreds for his insolence. However, this prompted the pranks to continue…

Ironhide also was at fault. He took great pleasure in enacting his own 'prank' against Sam, though he had professed innocence and would only admit that he had been trying to help the boy. Sam had had to run for his life, and Bumblebee alternated between lecturing Ironhide and not speaking to him for a month.

Even Ratchet got in on the games after he grew tired of having to patch the Autobots up after each prank. The twins would have continued to believe they were mortally wounded and about to die in a few days time if Optimus Prime hadn't stepped in. Or, later, ordered Ratchet to turn their voice-boxes back online, which the mech had disconnected for several days to the relief of almost everyone on the base.

It was not just the Autobots who perpetrated the pranks. No, they frequently had human allies, and one of the favorite allies to pick was Major Lennox. He was a good choice on many parts. First, as the commander, he could get away with a lot that the other soldiers would not be able to. Secondly, if one chose another soldier, they would get in trouble from Lennox (so better to choose the man himself). Third, the man was wickedly clever when it came to pranks and would often come up with some particularly devious ones. Epps was a strong second choice, however.

Optimus Prime was the only one to not stoop to that level, though if he would admit it he had considered some concepts. Nor was he ever prank-ed (after all, who would prank the Prime?) However, as the prank war continued to escalate, he found himself contemplating several serious ideas. One would be to sic the entire lot of them on the Decepticons and let them deal with the mess. The other was that the war with the Decepticons would surely be over by now if the Autobots had devoted as much time, resources, and energy to it as they did to their pranks.

It was not Major Lennox, who had in good sport gone along with many of the pranks but was beginning to be exasperated, that got them to stop. It was not the great and highly annoyed Optimus Prime who could finally get the pranks to cease.

No, it was instead Mikaela Banes who finally brought an end to the prank war. One small human, not even up to Bumblebee's knee, brought them all to shame.

"It's hard to believe you all are ancient and super-advanced alien robots!" she told them, annoyed that Sam once again was covered in some sort of disgusting goo, thanks to the twins. This one, it seemed, made him glow in the dark, Bee too. "Since you are all acting like five-year olds! I dunno, but I would think a technologically advanced race of aliens would have something better to do with their time then act like children. Or at least be more mature. But I guess men," she glared at them all, including Sam, conveniently overlooking Arcee, who had prank-ed her fair share, "are the same in every race." With that she whirled away. Thoroughly humbled, the pranks stopped after that.

But not forever…

* * *

Bwaa ha ha. Just kidding. This is the last about the pranks for a while. But I do have an extra special chapter for you all next! It's so special, it's not even about Sam and Bee! Don't worry, we'll get right back to them, but we have to check in on Lennox. Some of you have been asking about those photos taken during the paint-prank. :) I'll probably pull it out of the "car wash" series and publish it as its own story, eventually, but for now I'm going to give it to you guys right here! So next time... "Pretty Rainbow". (Bwa ha ha)

There were some people I couldn't respond to who left reviews, so here goes

Ox King-- I don't even wanna know what you thought it was at first!

Ms. D Optimus Prime-- You asked about Bee getting his voice back, but I'm actually not going to have him get his voice back, though. For one, I hated his voice in the movie (it was all wrong for Bee) and he didn't get it back by the second movie, and I'm trying to be semi-faithful to it. Also, and this is the biggest reason, I like to write Bee without his voice. It's a challenge to come up with ways for him to communicate, and a chance for me to be really inventive. I'll tell you this, though: he will discover a new way to communicate soon :) Thanks for your comments though! Helpful suggestions are never rude. It's good to get your ideas out. :)

Later! ~ Hibana


	14. Pretty Rainbow

Pretty Rainbow

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

* * *

Lennox sighed to himself, stretching out in his chair. It was good to be home, and thanks to Ironhide's frequent desire to get off the base and away from all of the noise and chaos, he got to be home a lot more often. Ironhide was always willing to give him a lift, like he had this time. Lennox could hear his wife in the kitchen humming and the baby—though she wasn't really a baby anymore, being in preschool and not long until she'd be in kindergarten—was talking and laughing. He smiled, thinking about the simple things in life. His favorite two ladies. Good home cooking (none of that base-garbage they called food). Home. Blackmail.

Yes…blackmail. It amazed him how well his hastily-formed plot had worked, and how one small picture could bring giant mechanical robots from outer space back into line. He chuckled, thinking about the times he had used a picture of their paint-splattered forms to bring them to submission. He kept it in his front pocket on his chest. The Twins make a mess and refuse to clean it up? All he had to do was show it to them once. After that, if he patted the pocket it was enough. An Autobot giving him lip? No prob. One of the twins questioning his orders? No sweat. Getting one of them to actually help around the base with some heavy-lifting? Easy as pie.

Plus, just looking at the pictures always made him laugh. He thanked Sam and Bumblebee every time for his new-found power…and included them in his prayers as the prank war continued.

Of course, he was careful about which Autobot he blackmailed and how often. He was always cautious about not riling up any of them by using the pictures too much. He could only use it on the Twins sparingly, though they were almost always a pain in the butt. Their pride was irked every time they were blackmailed, and since they were easily frustrated in general, it didn't take long before they would turn to revenge.

That was one of the few rules he, and Epps, who of course refused to be left out of anything this good, had about blackmailing. Don't blackmail them too much. Don't let Optimus Prime know about it. And don't blackmail Ironhide.

These rules were all common-sense, survival, don't-get-stepped-on-by-the-giant-robots kind of rules. Not letting Optimus Prime know about the blackmail was rather obvious, as he might disapprove. Ironhide and the photos were a matter of life and death. If you wanted to live—Ironhide didn't need to know about them. Ever.

He was glad that he kept the photos safe inside the house where Ironhide would never see them.

"Daddy! Daddy!" squealed Annabelle as she rushed over to him, escaped from the kitchen.

"Hey! How's my little angel doing! Were you helping Mama?"

She smiled. "We made cookies!"

"Cookies! So that's what smells so good! What type of cookies are they?"

"Chip!" She hadn't been able to say chocolate when she was younger, so now chocolate chip cookies were always shortened to 'chip' cookies.

"Sounds good!"

His little angel looked thoughtful. "Does 'Hide wanna cookie?"

Lennox smiled. It always amazed him how good Ironhide was with his daughter. He had heard the story about Ironhide raising Bumblebee, though, and Bumblebee hadn't turned out so bad apparently (if a little given to mischief), so he guessed Ironhide was just good with kids in general.

"I don't think Ironhide can eat the cookie, but it'd be polite to ask him."

"OK!" she said, and scrambled away to run towards the garage door. Lennox could hear Ironhide transforming and speaking with her as he got up and followed. She dashed out of the garage before he even got there, though, and quickly returned with her latest collection of drawings to show to Ironhide. Lennox just smiled.

But his smile slowly left its place as his daughter showed Ironhide the 'best' picture.

"See!" she said proudly, holding it up. "I drew you and me and a pretty rainbow!"

The picture showed her and Ironhide together, Ironhide drawn down to the same scale as Annabelle, though both of them were stick people. There was a sun, blue streaks for a sky, green streaks for grass, and even a pink unicorn. But the most colorful part of the picture was Ironhide himself. Instead of being his usual black, he was now every color of the rainbow. There was also a rainbow was over his and Annabelle's heads.

Ironhide regarded it, his optics focusing in on the picture.

"That is very good work, Annabelle," he told her. "But why did you draw me the wrong colors?"

"Well, I saw it in Daddy's picture," she said, swinging back and forth, unable to hold still.

"Picture?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded, her pigtails bobbing up and down. "Daddy has pretty pictures! There are you and more au- au- autobots," she said, struggling with the unfamiliar word and then smiling happily when she got it right. "All pretty with rainbow colors!"

Lennox managed a half-laugh, half-choking sound. Somehow, someway, his daughter had gotten into and found the black-mail photos that he kept in his desk when at home.

"I see…" began Ironhide slowly.

Sarah Lennox stepped into the garage. "There you guys are! Anabelle, come help me in the kitchen, ok?"

"Pretty rainbow, Mama! Pretty rainbow!" she said, proudly holding up the incriminating drawing.

"That's beautiful, sweety. We'll put in on the fridge, ok?" she said, picking up the little girl. "Ironhide, you let me know if there's anything I can get you."

"Thank you, Sarah," the robot replied as the mother and daughter left, though his optics had not left Lennox.

Lennox wondered if he should tell Sarah that their fridge was now in danger of being destroyed. Or to start planning his funeral.

"What picture is Annabelle referring to, Major…?" began Ironhide, though by the gleam in his optics he already knew.

Lennox swallowed.

"I assume from your silence that the photos are of myself and the others after Bumblbebee and Sam's first prank…" Ironhide began, and gave him a look. "I'm disappointed in you, Major." The cannons in his arms started to light up, as they did whenever Ironhide got excited about something—or ready to blow something up.

"You will, of course, destroy the photo of me," he continued, cannon whirling for emphasis.

"O-of course, Ironhide, no problem," Lennox began to stammer, but he stopped short as Ironhide continued.

"And you'll make a copy of the rest of the photos for me."

* * *

God, I love Ironhide! :)

By the way, IloveBumblebee2009—Flattery may not get you everywhere… but it'll totally get you more chapters :)

I'm kind of surprised that no one asked what exactly Ironhide's prank was in "Blame". Lol, I guess everyone figured it out. XD

Thank you all so much! We're over 20,000 hits! It is completely amazing, and I can only say thanks for the love and I hope everyone continues to enjoy my work!

Later!~Hibana


	15. Remote Control

Remote Control

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own any media used in this fic, including Transformers.

A.N. Sorry about the long delay between updates! I was getting ready for and then going to and getting settled in at the university where I'm studying abroad in Japan. You can imagine that I've been rather busy. So to make up for it, I'm posting another chapter right after this one. Sorry again and as usual, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Hey Bee! I've got a surprise for you!" said Sam, grunting as he lifted up the garage door and stumbled in, carrying a small TV in his arms, the chord trailing behind him. Bee, sitting quietly in his car-mode, quickly transformed so that he was sitting up, looking excited. His optics whirled with delight as he looked at Sam and the TV.

Looking up at Bumblebee's obviously excited face, Sam tried to play it down. "Yeah, well, there was these yard sales down the street, you know, where people sell old junk that they don't want anymore, and I, uh, saw this and thought maybe you'd like to have it, you know, in the garage. Since this is sort of like your room and all. That way you won't be bored or anything when there's no one around. So…"

He paused, and then said, "So yeah, I got you a TV."

"You may be the best friend I ever had!" Bee spoke through his radio.

"Ah, well, it's just a TV," Sam said, a little embarrassed. "Here, I'll put it over here," Sam said, Bee quickly moving out of the way so Sam could get to the shelf. He plugged it into the outlet and angled it so Bee could watch it while sitting down, then messed with the antennae until there was a good picture, all with Bee eagerly watching and practically hovering over his new TV. "There! You're all set! Oh, one more thing," Sam said, pulling something out of his pocket. "It came with a universal remote control, but I'm not really sure how you can work it 'cause the buttons are too small. Um…can you, like, scan it or something? I think it sends out a signal, so maybe you can copy it or something…" He held it up to Bumblebee, who regarded it for a moment. Then blue light covered the remote control as he scanned it. He was quickly done and turned to the TV. The channel switched, changing from the weather to a talk show host.

"Great!" said Sam, happy his idea had worked and that Bee was obviously thrilled with it. "Well, I gotta run, but I'll catcha later!"

He exited the garage with a litany of 'thank you' in many different voices following him out. Bumblebee turned back to the TV and happily changed the channel.

...

Ron Witwicky hurried around the kitchen. "Beer…popcorn…chips…dip for the chips… set!" He gathered up his food and beverage and made his way into the living room, sinking down into the cushioned chair with a sigh. He arranged his food around him and then turned on the TV. The wife was doing laundry, the kid was doing his chores—okay, that was wishful thinking, but at least he was quiet—the alien robot in the garage was in the garage—there was nothing that could distract him from the all important game. He'd worked hard, or at least he'd worked, all morning so he'd have this time to himself. It was a man's time, time to watch his favorite sport and drink his beer and not be interrupted (emphasis on the not-being-interrupted part). And this was going to be a great game; the talking heads on the sports channel had been yapping about it all week.

He was munching on his popcorn when suddenly, right in the middle of the second minute of play, the channel flipped. Choking on his popcorn in surprise, he quickly grabbed the remote—must have hit it or something—and switched it back. He hadn't even settled back into his chair when the channel flipped again, away from the game. He grabbed the remote and hit it a few times, then switched it back to the game and set the remote control as far away from him as he could.

When the channel switched again to some children's show Ron Witwicky launched himself out of the chair and grabbed the remote. Muttering to himself about the buttons being stuck, he switched it back to the game—and then had to switch it back again as the channel flipped on him almost immediately. With a savage grin of inspiration, he put the TV back to the game and then yanked the batteries out of the remote control. He sighed as he sat down, and was just catching up on what he'd missed…

The channel changed again. He let out a cry.

"SAMUEL JAMES WITWICKY, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Sam fell out of his chair, and then pounded down the stairs. That tone of voice was never good.

"Uh, hey Pops, I thought you were watching the game?"

A furious Ron Witwicky pointed at the TV, which had switched channels again, this time to a cooking show. "Does it look like I'm watching the game! Does it?"

Realizing what must be happening, Sam could only say, "Uh…"

"This has got to have something to do with you, because it has nothing to do with me, and if it has to do with you then that robot is involved, so I'll give you 10 seconds to fix it before…before…before something very bad happens!"

"10 seconds. Got it. You're a very generous man, 10 seconds is plenty of time, very generous of you," Sam stammered, backing away towards the door.

"Five!"

Sam bolted to move Bumblebee's TV to a spot where both Bumblebee and his dad could watch their shows in peace and he wouldn't get grounded for life.

* * *

Bee's quote is from a movie called "he's just not that into you", I think. According to the Internet Movie Database it is.

And now, without further ado, please review first if you'd like, and then proceed to the next chapter--which is Ironhide's prank on Sam :)

Enjoy!~Hibana


	16. Cannons

Cannons

A Transformers Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers.

A.N. Like I mentioned, this is Ironhide's prank on Sam. Short but sweet. I thought it was a bit obvious but some people weren't quite sure what it was so here it is. I hope you like it!

* * *

"Hey Ironhide," said Sam, lifting his mother's weights and standing next to Bumblebee in their training field. The black Autobot had just rolled up to them and transformed. Bumblebee warbled a greeting. "Whatcha doing out here?"

"I came to check on Bumblebee and ensure he is functioning normally."

"Uh huh," said Sam. "Sounds like you're just coming to see how he is," he said, calling the giant robot's bluff.

"Well, I am actually here to see if Bumblebee has squashed you yet," Ironhide retorted. Bumblebee protested.

"Heh, no squashing around here! Bumblebee's my friend; he even helps me work out. See? Check out these cannons," Sam said, pointing at the muscles in his arm. "Not bad, huh?"

"Hmm…they look rather puny, even for a human."

Sam violently protested that remark.

"So…how does Bumblebee assist you in your…working-out?"

"Uh, well," began Sam. He was a little suspicious of Ironhide's sudden appearance and careful tone, especially with the pranks going on, but he figured there was no harm in this. "He helps me run, you know. Follows me around and gets me to go faster."

"Hmm, I see." Ironhide replied. Sam found that he really didn't like his careful neutral tone. "Sam, I've decided that I will help you work out as well."

"Uh…you will?"

"Yes…I will help you run even faster than when Bumblebee follows you."

The cannons in the Autobot's right arm began to light up.

"You best start running."

"Wa-waaa-wait a second Ironhide!" squealed Sam, and he squealed again as suddenly a blast destroyed the ground in front of him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Mechanics squealing, Bumblebee quickly transformed, throwing himself at Ironhide, squealing what was unmistakably 'stop, stop!'. He tried grabbing and pulling on Ironhide's cannon arm, while Ironhide laughed and laughed, firing at Sam without ever actually getting close enough to hit him. Giving up on that tactic, Bumblebee transformed back into a car and sped to Sam (who was well across the field by now), picked him up, and raced him to safety.

Smoke came from Ironhide's cannon as he powered it down.

"11.2 seconds…not bad at all." Then he grinned. "Damn, I'm good. That's pay back, kid, for getting paint on my cannon." He gave his cannon a pat, transformed, and headed back to base to brag about his exploits.

* * *

And then Bumblebee didn't speak to Ironhide for a month (or if he did, he scolded him furiously for scaring Sam half to death).

But Sam's time for running across the field really improved...lol.

Anyway, till next time!~Hibana


	17. Education

Education

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any other media used in this story.

A.N. Sorry everyone about the long wait! I was studying abroad in Japan, and I'm actually in Germany now doing it again. But I'm back into writing for a while. As always, I hope you enjoy!

This story was to answer a question I had when I saw the second movie: Sam got into Princeton? When he was scrounging together enough B's and A's to get a car? I thought he couldn't have done it without a little (or a lot) of help. :)

* * *

Sam was muttering to himself as he took out the garbage, a combination of grumbling and answers to the study-guide he had been working on before his dad had made him do his chores. Bumblebee heard and rolled out of the garage to see what was going on.

"Oh, hey, Bee," Sam said glumly. "Sorry, but I'm not going to be able to watch 'The Fast and the Furious' with you tonight." Sam had added a dvd player to Bumblebee's set up in the garage so they could watch movies together.

Bee was disappointed, and showed it by sinking lower to the ground, still in car mode.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but I got this really big history test tomorrow, I forgot all about it and it's worth, like, half my grade. I'm probably going to spend all night studying for it."

Bee seemed to process that, and then the radio came on.

"_You've got a friend in me—_'Here, let me help you with that'—'Get to work!"

Sam looked a little surprised and bemused. "You want to help me study?"

The hood bounced up and down.

"Well, uh…" Sam didn't know what to say. "You can, uh, quiz me later or something. I gotta study first. Later Bee!"

He went up to his room and tried to wrap his head around the material. How was he supposed to memorize all these dates? The battles were a little interesting, but trying to remember all those people and places too. He sighed and decided to give himself a well-deserved break. After all, he'd been studying for, like, ten minutes straight.

He sat down his computer and got on the internet, and soon he was watching a rerun of his favorite show. He laughed at the funny part when a small ding caught his attention—an IM window had popped up.

It was Bumblebee, under his own IM address. Sam quickly answered his question because he knew from experience from that terrible day Bee had discovered he could IM Sam on his computer that something bad would happen if he did not. He shuddered remembering that time.

Bee, using his screen-name, DecepticonButtKicker, had asked him what he was doing.

He quickly typed that he was taking a quick break from studying.

There was a pause. Then Bee was asking,_ Is this test not very important to your grade?_

_Yeah, but I need to take a break._

_But shouldn't you be studying?_ Bee asked in reply.

_Yeah_, Sam started to reply.

Bee's reply was too fast—after all, the robot didn't have to deal with typing. _You said you couldn't watch the movie because you had to study._

If it had been another human, Sam would have known that the person was miffed. Given that it was Bumblebee, Sam didn't know what to think.

_Yeah, but, come on, Bee! I just need a little break, that's all._

_This test is very important?_

_Yeah. It's worth a lot of my grade._

_What are you studying?_

_The Napoleonic Wars and European history after that, _Sam typed back.

_And you said I could help you study?_

_Yeah, but…_

_Then you should study now._

His internet browser closed on him, surprising Sam. He tried to reopen it but couldn't. In fact, he couldn't open any other program but the IM. Bumblebee had hijacked his computer.

The processor whirred and then Bee was responding.

_I have researched the subject and what you are supposed to know for your test. I will 'quiz' you now._

A screen popped up, asking him about the date of the Battle of Waterloo and giving him a place to type in his answer. He just stared at it, and then tried to open up other programs on his computer again, over and over with no effect. He couldn't believe Bee had done this to him.

"I don't have to put up with this," he said, and got up from the computer desk. He picked up his cell phone to call Mikaela instead. There was a new text message—he opened it and saw the same question. He threw the phone down. "This can't be happening," he said to himself.

He tried to turn on the TV, but it wouldn't work—instead, somehow, Bumblebee had changed it so that the screen only showed this question printed in large, white letters. He turned it off, starting to get frantic.

He turned on the radio, but then a voice, sounding very much like the ones of voice recognition software, asked him the same question. He quickly turned it off.

"Fine. I don't need electronics. I'll just read a magazine," he said, obstinately not studying now because Bumblebee was trying to make him.

Suddenly a high pitched noise came from the computer, and Sam bolted upright and ran to the computer. He tried to get it to turn off, but nothing worked. He grabbed the monitor and shook it. "Bumblebee!!!" he shouted in the general direction of the garage.

The sound continued, and Sam clasped his hands over his ears.

"All right, all right!" he shouted at last.

The sound disappeared, and the question was waiting for him.

Grudgingly he sat back down at the desk and looked at the question. He consulted his book for a moment. _June 18, 1815_, he typed into the screen.

_Correct_! Fireworks and confetti scattered across his screen. _Next Question:_

Needless to say, Sam got a hundred percent on his test for the very first time since kindergarten because of Bumblebee's tutoring. Bumblebee had been pleased he had been able to help Sam so much, and Sam started to hide his test and project dates from the Autobot as Bee would eagerly hijack his electronics to help him. But Bee was resourceful (and the information was on the school's website) so Sam had no recourse. As his grades continued to rise thanks to Bumblebee's tutoring, Sam's mom had to admit that the robot in the garage was a good thing after all, and she was much nicer after that, even forgiving Bumblebee for spying on her the month before.

Only poor Sam was unhappy at being forced to learn. But when it was a giant robot who could control his computer and tv, well... he had little choice.

* * *

All our grades would be better if we had Bumblebee as a tutor. :)

Till next time!


	18. Robots from Japan

Robots from Japan

A Transformers Movie-verse Fanfiction

By Hibana

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A.N. Here is a second update as a sort of apology for taking so long! I was just reading over the wonderful reviews that I got while I was on break. Thank you everyone! This is my tribute to my time in Japan, inspired by some of the things I saw there. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Watching TV late at night while eating snacks and drinking highly-caffeinated beverages has never been recommended as a way to get a good night's sleep. Especially when the snacks involved are junk food with large amounts sugar in addition to the sugar and caffeine in the sodas. It's rather obvious that you'd have strange dreams, if you can even sleep at all. For Sam, the dream (or nightmare) that made him wake up gasping for breath in the early hours before dawn was definitely caused by this.

He had been hanging out with Bumblebee in the garage, watching a TV show on one of the science channels. It had been about robots, which had caught both of their attention.

"Hey, look, Bee, they're almost like you! I mean, they're obviously nowhere near the level of an Autobot," he said hurriedly, "but they're pretty cool, huh? I bet you didn't think humans could make robots like that."

"Japan is a leading competitor in the research and development of these animatronics creations. They are on display in such places as Tokyo's famous Akihabara District, where you can see robotic dogs in the windows as examples of the latest robots you can take home, like pets," the narrator of the program said.

"Yeah, those are a lot smaller than you," Sam grinned. " 'Bet Dad wouldn't have been so freaked out if you were the size of Mojo."

Bee warbled something in response that sounded an awful lot like 'Really?'

"…these marvels of science can perform an astounding range of activities from walking, talking and answering questions, even doing household chores."

"I wish you'd do some household chores," Sam muttered under his breath.

"However, these robots are not the kind out of science fiction works just yet. They're light-years away from possessing anywhere near the same level of intelligence of a human. So, we don't have to worry about an army of robots taking over any time soon."

"Ha. What does he know," Sam muttered, sipping his soda, and changed the channel.

However, when he went to bed much later he began to dream…

It was one of those strange, trippy dreams where colors were a little off and reality was upside down. There was an army of small Japanese robots, looking like little foot soldiers, stretching out as far as the eye can see. The scene shifted, and the army was divided into ranks of different kinds of robots, though they were still the kind similar to Bumblebee when he was not in car mode. Some were red, some were blue, some looked like Marines while others were colored like Gundams, and there was even a weird pink and white girly one with the face of a cat and a bow on her head. "Konnichiwa!!!" they shouted as one in a far-too-enthusiastic tone of voice. Then, the different ranks began to sound off. "Konnichiwa—Konbanwa—Ohayou—Irashaimase!" Each rank had a different greeting in Japanese. "Irashaimase!" They all shouted as one, and repeated the word again.

Behind them loomed Bumblebee, towering over them all—no, he was their king, on a throne, and they were all his servants or foot soldiers. And then Sam was there with Bumblebee, and he was happy, because they ruled over the robots. They ruled over all of this land, and they called it…this land. And they were happy.

And then the dream changed into a nightmare, for suddenly a calendar appeared in the sky and there was a test on every day. And then Bumblebee turned his army onto Sam to force him to study, and Sam was surrounded by robots.

"What is the square root of 2?"

"When was the Battle of Waterloo?"

"Ohayou means good morning in Japanese!"

Sam cried out as he was smothered by knowledge…

And then he woke up, gasping. And vowed to never combine Red Bull, ice cream, and late night TV again. Especially TV shows about Japanese robots.

* * *

If I recall, in the first movie Sam initially thought Bumblebee was Japanese. So this was a nice connection.

There was a Firefly reference thrown in there. Kudos to anyone who saw it and recognized it! Also, the girly cat robot is obviously Hello Kitty, which is _everywhere _in Japan. Believe me. And I threw in Gundams too. :)

Apparently I love to torture poor Sam... He's much too easy.

Till next time!

~Hibana


End file.
